Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Fall 2010 TV Premiere Critic Mon and Tue

As I watch a ton of television, I have named myself a TV critic for this week. Based on the first episodes, these are the shows i am going to watch, and not watch. 

This is based on Mon and Tues

Favorite new show:

Raising Hope
Tuesday on Fox after Glee. 

This show is a bit inappropriate, rude and crude, but the heart is amazing. I laughed, but mostly i was really into the flashbacks between the parents now and the parents then. Even after the baby gets thrown up on three times, the viewer still decides Hope is in the best hands. I will most certainly be watching this show. 


Least Favorite new show:
The Event
NBC after chuck

I love Jason Ritter. LOVE HIM. Even I couldn't get over his amazing cuteness and like-ability enough to care. And Luke from Gilmore Girls is in it. How do i not like this show? Well, basically, i could care less what The Event is. I just don't care about anyone in the show. 


Most unsure of new show:

Running Wilde

Honestly, I could care less about Will Arnett and Kerri Russell in the show, but the character of Russell's daughter, Puddle is a gem and I will continue to watch in order to see what they do with her. There is a scene where Puddle is happy to be in real civilization and as she is having eyes made at her by a few boys her age, she casually chews on some leaves....like she did in the amazon. The young actress is natural and funny, and im glad she isnt stuck in the the land of most children in TV shows, a straight man. 



Premieres of old shows/new seasons shows:

House:
WOW....this is going to be the best season of House yet. Go HUDDY! Im pretty excited about where they are going to lead. 

CHUCK!!!:
I am soooo glad this show is back, but more importantly, Im glad Chuck is finally a viable spy who not only can take care of himself, but can save the lives of his fellow spymates. The fact that he and Sara are a couple is awesome because it is not he entire point of the show. I am feeling good things from this season of Chuck and I hope enough people actually watch this season so us, the fans, dont have to fight for another season.


Glee:
SO disappointed. All of the characters we once loved are now mean, dumb and petty. The autotune has gotten out of control (the mouths didnt even match the words they were singing this time). The writing has gone downhill, but I will keep watching with the hope that it was just a bad episode. Fingers crossed. 


Parenthood: I love this show. So much heart and love, and its so real. I will keep watching for sure. 




Alright, this is just monday and tuesday. More to come. 

Monday, July 19, 2010

Cyber Life versus Real Life-My intervention

As Facebook reaches new heights in popularity reaching the depths of parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and children a new problem is arising. What is real? Who are we? Why are cats such bitches



and how could we live in a world where this amount of cuteness exists?


                                                    We are cute AND have spikes!


More importantly, the ongoing problem of the internet mushing into my real life is downright freaky.

Skynet Freaky

No, I do not know why Zack's facebook sounds melancholy. Are you sure he's not just quoting some song? I will NOT plead for jobs on the internet...jobs are real life. The internet is fake life. 

When the two mix it tends to have some sticky results. Now, one of my favorite look-sees Lamebook.com tends to chronicle the sheer strangeness that can happen.

Either its sharing your sex life with everyone on the internet (hey everyone I get laid....and my parents follow me on facebook?) 

                          See the issue here? You don't? Well.  How about in this one?
 Yes, sometimes the line gets crossed and we forget how easy a screen capture can be. Apparently Randy's dad is going to be in the doghouse for a looooong time...the doghouse or Jail. Dear lord, hopefully Jail. 

And guess what facebook? I don't care about your dirty laundry. Watching people fighting over the internet is possibly the saddest thing I have ever witnessed.



               The years of therapy this kid is going to require. And you deserve to pay it assholes. 



Facebook isn't the only place where our lives get mixed in a cyberpunk alternate reality. Let's talk second life. When second life first appeared it had a lot of potential. It was the idea of doing the things you could not do in real life. Wait, what? So you talk to strangers and can be more attractive. Well, not surprisingly this attracted what I will refer to as the creep quotient. 

Initially all was well. They were even using it as campaign tool


 Wait? I have to vote in first life also? I already filled out my cyber ballot!

It then went to the inevitable. 


BOOBIES

This indicates to me that the user is either quite overweight and owns a lot of cats, or a man. If you had a body like this, I suppose you would be outside exercising, or actually snorkeling, not sitting inside on a computer all day. I could be wrong. I'm just saying. 

But then, it just gets downright strange. 


Snake lady gotta get some respect!

How about your second life not being full of the big boobed and tailed ladies. How about second life being far worse that your actual real life?


Pretty sure thats a hooker with a vomiting baby. 

If that is your idea of an awesome day, then your life must suck SO HARD. I get the hooker thing. There is a Pretty Woman mystique there, but a hooker with a naked projectile vomiting baby? Wow! Its a dream come true. 


Here's the lesson. Facebook is just a place where stupid people air there personal business, and smart people make a personality far cooler and more interesting than themselves. If done right, facebook is a far more exciting second life. Here is every band I like (as said by ME) only the red cup pictures that I allow and witty and exciting status updates that show how thoughtful and intelligent I am. 

Second life is a place where scary individuals go to pretend to have sex with each other and have a life because they are too afraid to go outside. Please people. The real world is awesome! Yes, the MET just came out with a virtual tour so you can see everything as if you were there! How nice! I implore you to go there. Live in a hostel, take a train. See the great works of art for yourself. A picture is all fine a good. The internet is awesome for seeing things you normally wouldn't but don't sell yourself short. 

Weird serpent lady? You DESERVE real friends! I bet you aren't that bad, and that their are plenty of people who would love to know you? 

Hooker with a baby, not only is that possibly but i'm pretty sure you could make that happen if you wanted. I implore you to dream a bit bigger. 

Ironically, i'm writing this sitting on my computer on the hottest day i've endured, but I promise as soon as I put down my computer, i'm going swimming. 

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Teen Wolf: The importance of being the monster good at sports



Ok. Imagine you are at a basketball game at your shitty midwestern high school and the following happens:


                  HOLY CRAP, He's a WOLF! And can play BASKETBALL!

I mean seriously. They see the nerdy kid at school turn into a GODDAMN WEREWOLF! And after a few seconds, he makes a basket so no one cares. 

This poor kid has to go through puberty with hypertrichosis.

The sexy mans disease


Sorry dude, but my first response to seeing classmate turn into a werewolf is cry and run like a little girl. My second response? Let's just say it involves silver bullets and Van Helsing. 

I mean, look at this easy target!:




Hell, I would be worried about scientific experiments! The even turned this lovable alien into 




a sick alien


If they could do that to the lovable ET, then they would surely do that to Teen Wolf and maybe they should have in order to prevent:

                                                  its ok Bateman, ill always love you


Not only can he ride a van, but he can party hard and get the girl. So kids, always remember, 
whatever mythical creature you become must be good at sports, otherwise get ready for a lifetime of secrecy. He's a werewolf, they are supposed to KILL people. This is the beginning of watering down our mythical creatures enough for us to make the sparkle in the sun (DAMN YOU, Twilight!).